Why Younger Women Are Attracted to Older Men
Dear Dating Doctor:My friends and I are in our mid-twenties but are dating men in their late thirties and early forties. We're enjoying our relationships and they appear to be working out quite well. When we have dated men our own age, we haven't been as successful. Why do you think this is so?Dating older and loving itIf you examine it closely, your situation makes a great deal of sense. Men in their twenties have a very different set of priorities than men in their thirties or forties and "seasoned" men are often more mature. The nice thing is, in this case, you and your friends are the beneficiaries. Twenty-something year old men are still searching for who they are, what talents they possess and the type of women they desire. They are experiencing many aspects of life for the first time. Physically, they are approaching their sexual prime and seek physical relationships more often. Sex, money, personal-improvement, material possessions, sports and status are their primary interests and motivational forces. Their 'me' mentality has not yet matured into a "we" philosophy and jealousy often surfaces seemingly without provocation. For older men, this is not the case. By their late thirties, most know who they are or at least who they are not. Many are in the second or third phases of their careers and have learned that there is more to life than money, sex and prestige. You will find that they avoid playing the "mind games' that younger men engage in as they realize this is simply a waste of time. They have learned what physically, emotionally and intellectually satisfies a woman. Seasoned men will be more responsible, get things done and have a life beyond their relationship with you. They will not hang on your every word, nor pressure you for sex, but will truly appreciate the time they spend with you. They realize that in today's busy and complicated world, time is precious. Women assume very different roles in the lives of men depending on the age of the man they are dating. Younger men see women as being there for them. Older men take great personal pride in dating younger women and strive to connect with them on their level. Women indicated that time spent with older men was more meaningful, loving, and enjoyable. They had the ability to hold women's attention, had more life experiences to draw upon and focused less on themselves. Dating older men is not for all women, but if you have found the man of your dreams, and he happens to be a bit older, I say to you, coo coo kachoo Mr. Robinson.
First
Date Tips For Men & Women
Dating
can be tough and first dates can be painful. So what are you to
do? Here is a list of dating tips to start it out right!Meet your
date out and drive yourself. If you want to bail out early, you
won't be trapped. Also, when you have your own car if things work
out, you won't have any worries about inviting your date in or not.
This helps protect you from your own impulses, because what's worse
then "will he respect me in the morning?" is "How
much will I hate myself when I wake up?" Also when you have
your own car, no need to worry about safety, your date does not
know where you live. This protects you from a date turned bad turning
in to a stalking nightmare.Keep the date simple. You're nervous
enough without making a big show, plus you don't want to lock yourself
in to an evening you won't enjoy.Men, end the date first. You will
make yourself stand out.Women, don't wear anything low cut or short.
It sounds like an old cliche but your first date knows very little
about the woman you are. He will take you at face value and you
don't want to give the wrong impression.Wear clothing that you are
comfortable and confident in. First dates are uncomfortable enough
without a tight belt biting you around the waist.Men, be specific
about where you are going. This will make the date more comfortable,
and will prevent her from wearing a cocktail dress when you are
taking her bowling.Ask about your date. Each of us knows we are
the most interesting subject :-) But the most interesting conversationalists
are people who ask about others. Great light topics are work, hobbies,
sports, kids (if they have any).Easy on the perfume. You want to
knock his socks off, but you don't want to knock him out!Don't forget
to use mouthwash before you go out.Don't order sloppy food.Keep
the conversation light! Don't talk or ask about old boyfriends,
girlfriends, or ex-spouse. This is a first date, not a therapy session.Find
out about your dates eating habits before you plan the evening.
Make sure you choose a place where they will be able to find something
to eat.Be attentive! There is nothing worse then a date peering
over your shoulder making you feel as if they are looking for something
better.If you are not paying be considerate of what you order. Try
to stay in the middle of the menu.And last, but not least, have
fun and be yourself!
Kissing
Do's and Don'ts
These do's
and don'ts are designed to help underscore the important points
of good kissing. Of course, these aren't meant to be taken as law...
just as guidelines to improve your kissing.
DO gently
caress your partner's face.
DON'T octopus your hands all over their body. DO use your
tongue to stimulate.
DON'T use your tongue like a jackhammer. DO notice
how your partner reacts to your kisses.
DON'T notice how cute the guy at the next table is. DO communicate
with your partner.
DON'T communicate the kiss to everyone in the locker room. DO be confident
in yourself
DON'T be confident you'll never be kissed. Looking
to Impress my Peers
Dear Looking
to Impress:
I'd wager
that with women who are either notably younger or older, your interactions
are less forced, more spontaneous and significantly more enjoyable
because they are not your social target. You are less concerned
about impressing them, thus time you spend with them becomes effortless
and satisfying. In most cases, you probably didn't even expect to
interact with them, but it happened. Serendipity can be a powerful
aphrodisiac.
When our goal
is to be at our most impressive, we generally find it difficult
to be as convincing as we would like. We place expectations and
demands upon ourselves that are completely unrealistic. This forces
us to try too hard. It's akin to a professional golfer who simply
needs to par the final hole of a tournament in order to win. A simple
par. Yet, more often than not, this score is unattainable even though
he/she has successfully mastered the same hole several times before.
Why
are you attractive to older or younger women? Because you aren't
trying to be. As you mentioned above, they are not your target population.
You put up no facades and are comfortable in just being yourself.
Your compliments are sincere, your smile more genuine. You place
little to no pressure on yourself to be attractive, witty, or humorous.
In doing so, the opposite occurs. You probably don't think twice
about freely sharing aspects of your personal life that most men
would conceal. When we are at our most vulnerable and least inhibited,
we are at our most attractive.
Younger women
tend to have a more carefree attitude about men and relationships.
They will enjoy your company as you won't be playing the "mind
games" that younger men do, you'll treat them with respect
and will avoid casting judgment on them. It will be clear that you
have a stable life beyond your relationship with them. Independence
can be intoxicating.
As a parent,
you'll demonstrate a nurturing and caring side and offer stability.
You'll have more worldly experiences to share and draw upon. Having
kept yourself in shape, you may still be quite physically attractive
to all women.
We're all
better off when others can experience us in our truest form, yet
we frequently conceal our feelings out of fear that we will be harshly
judged. This diminishes our chances for meaningful relationships.
The answer is for you to be the same person around those your own
age as you are around those younger or older. But don't exclude
the latter as you may be missing out on the relationship of a lifetime.
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